Rules
By Mark
Lutostanski
Commisioner |
 3 outs an inning, 7
innings a game
outs can be made by
strikeout, fly out, pitcher's hand, or pegging
when it's a close
play, pitcher yells "out" when he catches the ball,
runner yells "safe" when hitting first
don't lie on purpose
and make a bad call unless:
1. the game is really
close
2. you got screwed on the previous strike
call
3. a player on the other team is acting really
gay, hits a homer that is close to foul, and you don't
want to give it to him
4. you only hit the ball 2
feet and want to get a good swing in
to be pegged a
person must be hit with the ball, bounces count
absolutely no
headbands allowed
2 players must be
available to play a game
if you hit a weak
ground ball or hit, don't feel obligated to run it
out
strike zone is
mid-shin to neck, but will always be
questionable
since the strike
zone is questionable, swing the goddamn bat
taking strikes is a
disgrace to your family's name
bats must be plastic
wiffle bats
anything ranging
from the yellow skinny types to baseball-barrel-sized
bats are okay
big, fat pink or red
bats with barrels the size of two-liter bottles are not
okay
getting beaned is a
ball, that's all it is
four balls equals a
walk, three strikes equals a strike out, if you don't
know that you should be castrated
try not to hit
people in the face by swinging or throwing bats
(especially the web-designer)
arguing over a
call/situation is:
1. completely unnecessary (this is
wiffle ball guys)
2. pointless
3. only worth it if
you get your way
and last but not
least, the most important thing to remember
is:
chicks dig the long
ball, swing for the fences
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