MVP Race Heats Up "Like Todd Lorenz at a polygraph," says one leaguesman
Josh Platek delivers a knuckleball to Scott Lutostanski. Neither of them have any relevance in a story about the MVP race.
-MARK LUTOSTANSKI
By Derek Nelson Courtesy of
AWA.com
In honor of the season nearly coming to a close, I have decided to compile a list of the front runners for the AWA MVP crown. To be honest, there isn't actually a crown of any sort. Winner gets seven minutes in heaven with the AWA leaguesmen girlfriend of their choice, and it can't be their own. Lets get it started:
1. Alex Lipnisky - Erling & The Wubauers(6-1) Lipnisky’s team is off to a torrid 6-1 start and showing no signs of letting up. Lipper has 27 HR and 51 RBI while batting over .500 and slugging over 1.000, very Bonds-like numbers. Only difference is Alex is using a bat he bought at Toys ‘R Us, and that Bonds is a very large black man that talks with a lisp.
Not to be discounted is Lipper’s pitching prowess. Largely regarded as the best(“nastiest”) pitcher in the league, he has had an uncharacteristically high ERA year.
But with his bat and the breakout year of teammate Derek Nelson, he has not needed to pitch flawlessly to win games. The bottom line: Alex is 6-1. And oh yes, he’s leading the league in damn near every hitting category. He is also tied for the league lead in steals, with 0*.
2. Bryan Ganek - The Red Machine(3-2)
In limited time, Ganek has hit 11 HR and 19 RBI while actually outslugging Lipnisky. For the second year player, leading the league in batting at a .568 clip was no surprise. The surprising part is that he is a finalist for the Cy Young award, going 2-0 with a league-leading 1.85 ERA.
For a while, many thought he would be the next Satchel Paige-- an accomplished Negro League pitcher who never saw the light of day in the big leagues. Ganek had other plans though, and the light of day has instead flooded upon him.
Hey, some people think Babe Ruth was black. Not like, Dewon Brazelton or Chone Figgins or Pokey Reese or Jimmy Rollins black, but black nonetheless. The NAACP should be proud.
3. Todd Lorenz - The A-Holes(4-2)
While many thought Mark Lutostanski would be the star of The A-Holes, Todd Lorenz has instead decided to steal the showcase that Mark so desperately craves. Lorenz is batting .329 with 12 HR and 28 RBI, and has been the most consistent A-Hole while Mark’s hitting has been more on-and-off than his relationship with Joie.
Todd, an expert at making girls cry, has instead been making opposing hitters weep for their dignity as he has gone 3-0 with an extremely respectable-for-AWA 6.19 ERA. He also has 14 K’s in contrast to only 3 walks.
*Note: AWA rules, like the Ten Commandments, do not allow stealing of any kind.
1. Alex Lipnisky - Erling & The Wubauers(6-1)